January 21, 2010
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Break-up letter to my T.V.
Dear TV,
I’m terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, but this will make us both a lot better off. Well, at least I’ll be better off… This note will be the last memory you’ll ever have of me, I’m done with you because I decided to be with your best friend, Kindle. He goes everywhere with me, and to be honest, is a lot better in bed.I know that may seem kind of low, but really, you have let yourself go lately. I don’t mean to be harsh, but come on… “The Sing Off” is the last thing I truly enjoyed that was new for both of us. “American Idol” and “The Biggest Loser” have both gotten old, plus you’re going to be losing “Lost” and “Nip/Tuck” this year. Have you thought about how hard that is on me? I know you tried to get yourself into shape by losing a few pounds and becoming flat panel, but that was just a temporary fix, wasn’t it?
I remember when we first met, you made all of these promises; cartoons, “The Mickey Mouse Club”, and “Kids Incorporated”. And even back in the 90s you still kept me entertained and happy. But then you started to change. First, you took videos off of MTV, then you became all about “reality TV”. I mean, what IS that?! I know we all change as we get older, but you’ve really started to get into some things I just don’t care for. And I can’t be with you if you’re going to continue.
You’d be much better off finding a person that can deal with annoying way you constantly change up your line up just when I’m getting into the groove of things (the Jay Leno/Conan debacle was a new low, even for you). My husband seems to be into that kind of thing. I’ll give you his number if you’re interested.
I’ll definitely miss the good times: the WB back in the late 90s (Dawson and Buffy still make me smile). But from now on, it’s just a memory. Please don’t give me a Buffy booty call on LOGO at 1am, it’s just cheap and insulting to both of us.
I’m glad this is done and we’re going separate directions for good. I think you’ll find someone to love again. And hopefully we will still be close buddies. I’ll check back in a few weeks, after the Olympics to see how your doing.
Forever Yours,
Moi
Comments (51)
I am nobodies rebound biatch
The Buffy booty call on Logo had me laughing out loud. This letter was quite clever and witty!
I loved this!
TV is the image of our society:)
Haha this was so funny lol
YES I will join you in your break up…cant stand tv anymore
I feel your pain. I have over 100 channels and there is still nothing on. Reality tv sucks. I want to watch tv to get away from reality! I love my kindle too! Good luck with your new lover!
that’s funny. because i’m watching buffy on logo right now xD
Poor T.V! It’s gonna end up in rehab
Whew. I could cry. Haha. Very interesting!
Oh greatest of mass media, thank you for reducing thought and stifling imagination. Thank you for the artificiality of quick solutions and for the insidious manipulation of human desires. Now, I shall part with thee too. HAHA.
That’s so cute! Wish my ex wrote me a letter like this. Lol!
Made my day~
I know how you feel! I’m hanging on in the loveless marriage as we speak. LOL
I haven’t watched Television in forever, but that doesn’t mean I’m glued to my 15 in Macbook screen in which I watch everything Online, and without having to pay 150.00/mo on Cable or Satellite, in which I can’t even watch all the shows because I don’t have TiVo. So T.V. was gone Long Ago. It’s hello Youtube, SurftheChannel, Yahoo! (for news), and Websites where I can watch HDTV for FREE! Yeah!
I have to stop staying inside and being this person behind the screen. Look what it’s done to me!
I’m not too into TV, either. I’ll watch CSI: Las Vegas or Bones every now and then, but for the most part, I just watch anime on my computer. I’m much more glued to my laptop.
I loved this
great post! i’m inspired…
‘DvD box sets killed the TV license’ not quite as eloquent or lyrical as ‘video killed the radio star’ but no less true.
Our TV sits sadly in a long forgotten corner while the all new Prada wearing PC with internet connection for Iplayer etc has pride of place in the Kitchen.
I gave TV the silent treatment for a few months. I think it got the message. I go visit every once in a while now but never stay long.
I can’t say t/v was ever that good, and pretty much all you previously mentioned i found atrocious at the time, but none the less..congrats on bidding your t/v goodbye. I hope you really plan to make that lasting : ) And i hope more people follow. It’s a waste of time that is literally mind-numbing.
By the way, don’t sacrifice paper books. Hardcopies are very important, particularly in the long haul of history and the future.
Hahaha. Great post. I completely agree.
I never watch tv anymore, I can’t even remember the last time I turned the thing on!
Loved this.
hahahha so great!
Heh heh, fun read. And for Kindle, who can blame you?
you’re better off with no tv. I went “NO TV” for 4 years while I started my writing career. as time went on, I missed it less and less. Now it bores me to death…. Ilena Holder……Color Of The Flame…..RedRosePublishing.com…….coming soon….Fade to Grey….by BlueWoodPublishing.com .
Cute.
Hilarious. I dumped little Miss Cable Television last year for her much-more-interesting younger sister, Miss Online Streaming T.V. We’re very happy.
Haha ! Love it (:
Haha, I love this.
The television is losing its touch.
It’s all about going on the internet to catch up on our shows and such.Especially Lost.
such a great post! I love it !
Loved this!
right on. good post.
I broke up with my TV a LONG time ago. He moved out soon after. Kindle and iPod are my only companions (:
This is wonderful and I couldn’t agree more!
Yay! Boo T.V.
hahaha. love it.
Great post! I gave up on TV years ago—I see I haven’t missed much!
Lol this is great and I totally agree with you.
are you an idiot? What about GLEE and OFFICE? you have no taste at all!
AND, AMAZON KINDLE BLOWS BUNNIES! i would never want a “Digital book” and if you lose your amazon account, you will lose EVERY SINGLE purchase you made on there. and its not like Itunes where your credited you have to buy it all over again if it crashes!!! LAMER 0 Props
@ilenaholder - also little missy OFFICE HAS AWESOME WRITERS and TV NEEDS WRITERS SILLY! im a writer and there is some good stuff on LIKE GLEE and OFFICE and even 30 ROCK! come on stop acting like TV sucks because writing is better because TV NEEDS WRITERS!
@Jeremy_Sheer - ok, I think you’re taking this a little too seriously…. it was meant to be a joke.
awwwws this is adorable lols
haha, so creative!
This was great! Good for you, by the way!
lol, i really liked this. i absolutely love my kindle, and couldn’t live without it…=] soo much better.
i also have my ipodtouch, and my envtouch….
oh my god this is so great! haha this makes me want to break up with my TV too!
i want my 90s cartoons back.. and like, everwood =]
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